


Silverline

by ilky



Category: Kamen Rider Gaim
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-07
Updated: 2014-05-07
Packaged: 2018-01-23 21:38:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1580438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilky/pseuds/ilky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Post Helheim events.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Silverline

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ishikawadesu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ishikawadesu/gifts).



> Post Helheim events.

Sometimes it came to him in the dead of night, when he was suppose to feel the most secure. Before it would never let him sleep, for his subconscious was too paranoid, too frightened and used to being on alert of any dangers. Nowadays it was a black void that crept into his dreams and awoke him, shaking his nerves and making him too restless to go back to sleep. It was still a powerful darkness that kept him on edge even when he was exhausted from a plain work week.

When the void became too much he would quietly move to his study room and read, as it was the only time he had to pick up a book that wasn't about new medication or substance reports. And when he felt his eyelids droop, he would crept back into the bedroom and sleep for the remaining time there was before heading back to work. Tonight was rather troublesome and stories about the seas and its creatures usually distracted the real monsters he had dealt with in the past. He sat in his usual desk chair and began reading.

An hour might have passed since he sat down, his mind too occupied with the Siren's Song that he barely heard the soft call of his name, "Takatora?"

He looked to the door to see Ryouma peek his head in the room, his face tired and eyes circled with almost dark shadows. The scientist had his own demons to battle with but he hid it better than the Kureshima did. "What are you doing?" The scientist asked with a yawn and went inside the room, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he went towards the desk and stopped behind the older man. Ryouma hunched over him, peering into the book Takatora was holding as he wrapped his arms around the Kureshima's shoulders.

Takatora grinned and turned his head against the scientist's to peck his cheek, catching some of Ryouma's bed ridden hair. "Reading," he replied quietly.

"I can definitely see that, what are you reading?" Ryouma rolled his eyes and moved one of his arms to close the book half way to see the front cover. 

The older man closed it completely, "Underwater stuff," he told as he leaned into the scientist's sleepy embrace while putting the book on the desk. "You know, the stuff you hate."

Ryouma chuckled and kissed Takatora's ear. "Come back to bed, we have a meeting today," Ryouma spoke softly, meaning that it was past midnight.

Takatora's warm grin has disappeared, "I can't really sleep right now," he admitted.

"Why?" The younger man's question was muffled, face buried in Takatora's hair.

Takatora hesitated and moved away from Ryouma's embrace to lean forward. "I had a nightmare."

The scientist had his hands on Takatora's shoulders when he straighten his stance, silent for a few moments. When the younger man didn't say anything Takatora turned his chair to face him, Ryouma's arms were slack and he was looking at his barefeet. Even though it was dark in the study Takatora could see the guilt on Ryouma's face and it was the same expression he caught from time to time, especially when they shared private moments like this. The scientist would shake his head and act like nothing happened.

Takatora turned his chair to face the scientist fully and reached for his hand. They never talked about this sort of thing and they both suffered separately. Takatora considers being honest so Ryouma doesn't feel responsible anymore and he organizes his thoughts when Ryouma meets him eye to eye. He begins to talk. 

"I don't know what it is but, it makes me feel empty. Like I have nothing to live for, and it swallows me, but not whole. It keeps me at bay, teasing me. When you were in the hospital, it was worse and I could never sleep, not even for an hour," Takatora explains softly, almost quietly as if the rest of the world would listen in. He's not looking at Ryouma as he tells him this but their hands are still connected. He feels Ryouma slightly tighten, letting Takatora know to go on.

"I didn't bring it up because I thought it would eventually go away, now that we're like this, it would go away. I don't blame you or anyone or anything. Not even the Inves or the overlords. It's just total darkness that won't go away and maybe, it won't ever," Takatora sighs out the last part and Ryouma squeezes his hand again.

They're silent once more and Ryouma moves to hold Takatora up, grabbing both of the older man's arms and making him stand. The scientist's eyes are glossy and he gives Takatora a sad grin. "I don't think so either. Maybe we're meant to deal with it, maybe we deserve it considering we played with fire. I don't know see anything either, I can't explain it like you can, no science will ever explain it," Ryouma's voice falters while his eyes start to water and a tear manages to escape down the scientist's cheek. Takatora is a little worried but he continues to listen and holds Ryouma's sides.

"But I know I'm willing to survive it with you. Behind all the darkness there's you, at the end of the tunnel you're there. Even if it never goes away, there's still you. And I'll use whatever I have left of my life making it up to you and I want to prove that to you," the scientist is smiling while he cries, Takatora fully knowing that it's difficult to put their feelings into words. But he understands and the nightmare isn't bothering him anymore.

He hugs the scientist, almost blushing for it's the first time he's taking the initiative and it's making him content. Ryouma chuckles and returns the embrace, sniffling and using one hand to wipe his eyes. "As stupid as it sounds, be my anchor, then I'll never go away," the older man whispers and smiles when Ryouma lets out an airy laugh.


End file.
